Has a breakup left you wishing to get your ex back? You probably are afraid you went too far this last time and fear you might lose your ex. It probably was over something silly and escalated beyond the point of no return. We have all had those moments unfortunately. More often than not, couples go about the wrong way to achieving a successful reconciliation. Most repeat the same patterns and sooner or later, end up in the middle of another fight only to breakup again. Knowing what not to do will help you avoid those common pitfalls that stop couples from rebuilding a strong and loving relationship.

Pitfall #1 - You try to get your ex back right away

In two words: slow down. Think about what you have just gone through. You and your ex are probably dealing with many mixed emotions right now. In one moment you are mad at them, in another you blame yourself, and still another instant you are desperately missing them. This is normal, and it is okay to process these emotions - you just have to give yourself and your ex the time to do that.

Getting right back together will not give you the time and space required to deal with everything that has happened. Instead, you get right back together, trying to let go of the emotions only to have those same emotions kick-starting another conflict. Do your relationship a favor, step back for a moment and take some time apart.

Pitfall #2 - You feel the need to do anything to get your ex back

Anything? Do you see how desperate that sounds? Doing anything is going to appear as a sign of weakness and create a whole new set of issues between you and your ex. No one has the time or patience to deal with a needy ex. Instead of offering compromises and telling your ex that you will do anything to be with them, choose to be strong-willed and give the appearance of self-confidence. Your ex needs to know you are okay and can do it on your own. Show you are needy and you risk pushing them further away.

Pitfall #3 - You contact your ex by whatever means you can

Another big mistake when attempting to get your ex back. Being apart you probably are extremely anxious and want to contact them. You have to let them have their space. Any chance for you and your ex to get back together means no email, no texting, no phone calls, no letters, and no "random" meetings. When they are ready, let them make the first move to contact you.

Pitfall #4 - You brood in negativity after a breakup

Yes I am sure you are very sad and upset about being apart, and all you might want to do is sulk and brood. What is this going to solve? If your ex sees that you are in a negative and depressed mood, how likely are they going to desire a reunion? Not very likely. No one wants to deal with the extra baggage.

Instead, create a positive circle around you. Do what makes you happy and builds on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Not only will you feel better, but it will give you something good to think about and keep your thoughts off the breakup. Take some time with friends, go on a trip, start a hobby or sport; just find something you love to do. If your ex sees that you are doing well without them, and appear to be enjoying yourself, they are going to wonder about all they are missing out on. This is another great tactic to get your ex back.

Are you guilty of doing any of these things in an attempt to get your ex back? Like most people, you probably are. That does not mean you need to continue repeating these common mistakes - there is a better way. If you had one chance to get it right, would you take it? I am pretty sure you would, and so have many other couples.

Do yourself a favor and take a moment to find out about a proven strategy that will literally have your ex begging you to get back together. There have been many couples that have followed these guidelines and are successfully back together. Now it is your turn. Visit my website, http://getmyexbacktome.com, for additional details.