Do you remember the Seth books by Jane Roberts in the '70's?I devoured them.
My favorite was The Nature of Personal Reality.
Seth, a disembodied spirit channeled through Jane, challenged our assumptions about the nature of reality.
He explained how the conscious mind directs unconscious activity and has at its command all the powers of the inner self.
And, he said, reincarnation was true.
It was mind blowing.
I thought it had changed my life forever.
But then, previously, Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill and The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale had changed my life too.
Afterwards, came Arnold Patent who wrote You Can Have It All and my deep foray into A Course in Miracles.
I have to admit that I did learn from the Course.
Mainly, that you should forgive people, not to be holy, but because everyone is doing the best they can in this moment.
They may be in kindergarten and you are in the 11th grade.
They are not just capable of doing 11th grade work.
Currently, it is all about The Secret.
But looking back to when I was seven years old and from a devout Catholic family, I had already come to the following conclusions: 1.
God was not an old man with a beard who was keeping records on me.
There was some force out there but I did not know what to call it.
2.
Jesus did not seem to be more God than I was.
He was just in a higher grade.
3.
God would not send you to hell if you ate meat on Friday or missed Mass.
4.
No loving God would doom innocent babies who were not baptized to Limbo.
5.
Nothing bad would happen to me if I went into a Protestant church.
6.
I had this funny feeling I had lived in this world before.
That there was something inside me that had nothing to do with the body I was in right now.
Remember, I was seven.
I would not dare mention these things to anyone.
That would have made me a heretic.
Catholics laugh and call people like this a "Delicatessen Catholic" in these days.
You are tolerated if you just take a little of this and a little of that and believe what you want.
Not then.
I am not knocking these great spiritual and self-help books.
They are inspiring to many people.
Keep reading them if they help you.
But, what I learned at seven was this.
If you really, really want something, it is not going to happen if you don't do something to get it.
You can't just put it out to the Universe because this does not work.
For example, what my brother Henry (6) and I (7) really, really wanted was to go to the Rialto movie theatre on Flatbush Avenue on Saturdays.
It cost seven cents.
We spent the entire week looking through people's garbage for bottles.
You got two cents return for each bottle.
We went to the movies every week.
When I was twenty six I had two children and was pregnant.
The gas company came and turned off my heat for non payment despite my pleas that one of my children was ill.
I really, really decided that was never, never going to happen to me again.
I got a job as a real estate salesman and I was very successful because I really, really wanted to be able to pay my bills.
I was able to buy an expensive home but I never paid the gas company until they actually came to my house to turn off the heat.
There was a rule that they had to ring the doorbell and inform you your gas was being turned off.
The check was waiting but they had to come and get it.
I would never mail it.
I really, really got even with them.
I have to admit that all these esoteric spiritual books did one important thing for me.
They confirmed everything I already knew at seven.
It is valuable to know you are right.
But the key to it all is if you want something you have to want it bad.
Really want it.
Then, you have to go out and get it.
You can't just envision it in your mind.
The books are helpful.
They reinforce what we have decided we want.
The missing ingredient in most of them is taking action.
Watching for your spot and going for it with all your heart.
With all your wanting.
But, I am really, really hoping to get spiritual some day soon.