I am grateful for my mother and the honor to be on this journey with her as she courageously navigates her life with Alzheimer's.
Like most, I was thrust into this role with no real clue about what to expect or what I was doing.
I felt more prepared when becoming a mother for the first time! Through the days, weeks, and months we've continued doing the best we could (Mama, me, and the rest of the family.
)There have been tears, anger, frustrations, sadness, fatigue, and an ongoing list of to do's.
It's been an emotional roller coaster of sorts...
grieving the loss of the person I once knew, watching the many changes during this disease, and projecting ahead of what the future will bring.
And there has also been laughter, joy, fulfillment, and gratitude.
I'm finding more and more that my default perspective is gratitude.
It becomes far too painful to dwell on what's "going wrong".
Gratitude has been a savior of sorts for me.
Why I am grateful? Let me count the ways:

1. My mother is (ironically) experiencing more joy in her life than I ever recall before Alzheimer's.
   It's as if she's been spared from the ability to worry or feel sadness for long.
   She is far more present in life (though without the cognition she once possessed.
   ) Beyond an occasional frustration of not understanding something or having a change in her routine, she is quite joyful and spreads it to everyone in her path.
   
2. My mother's general health is still quite good.
   It seems that part of her brain that tells her she's experiencing aches and pains in her body the way she used to, is simply not "firing".
   Even with Diabetes and High-Blood pressure, she generally feels good.
   
3. She's receiving wonderful care and support of an Assisted Living Community and Alzheimer's Adult Day Care program.
   It's been essential to utilize outside support.
   This has been in my mother's best interest to provide the best care and activities for her, beyond what I can offer her.
   It also supports me and my family in taking care of ourselves and having more balanced lives.
   
4. The support of family and friends.
   Knowing that people out there are praying for us, sending cards, keeping touch by phone, and offering to help however they can is reassuring and good for the spirit.
   It further lifts my mother's spirit as well as my own.
   
5. My mother's still here on Earth (even though she's changed drastically with the deterioration of her brain, and will unfortunately continue to).
   She seems to know that living her life to best of her abilities with Alzheimer's is her best revenge! I'm in awe of her courage and zest for living.
   This is also a precious time for me to complete my relationship with her and enjoy each moment we have together.
   

I know your loved one who has Alzheimer's is most likely experiencing different things from my mother.
Alzheimer's is, of course, unique to each individual, even though there are some basic stages they all usually go through.
And your own personal experience of being a caregiver is also unique to you.
Still it's important to extract the gold from our challenging experiences.
The gold is always there, however, we don't always focus on it.
We're too often overwhelmed by the challenging stuff.
Writing this piece has given me yet another opportunity to focus on the blessings.
I invite you to also write down what you're grateful for (and I'd be honored if you share it with me too).
Of course, the challenges are not going away.
We still have to deal with them as best we can.
Yet, gratitude is a healing elixir that shifts our perceptions, giving us new vision and inspiration to keep on keepin' on.
There in lies the joy within the sadness and grieving of it all.
Or as Marianne Williamson has said: "Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.
"