Anyone around kids for very long can easily observe that some children seem genuinely happy and overall pleased with about everything, while others act quite the opposite by not being satisfied or joyful about life in general. Nothing is more frustrating to a parent or child care provider than trying to coax a kid to be happy, and who wants to be around a genuinely disenchanted or miserable child?

While temperament is in part due to a child's overall personality, child experts say there are things an adult provider CAN do to encourage happiness. So, while a child may not be born to be particularly happy per se, there are efforts that can help kids to aspire to achieve emotional satisfaction. One thing that has been tried and tested and known to be true: you simply cannot buy happiness. (Most parents have fallen into this "purchase this" tactic before realizing it doesn't create the desired long-term result.) Here are ideas and suggestions from early educators on ways to encourage genuine smiles and kids living life to their fullest potential!

Ways to Encourage the 'Happy Factor' in Kids

• Start with a family self-examination of joy. Not surprisingly, dour adults often cast their same "downer" personality and beliefs on their kids...quite often unintentionally. Kids are like sponges; they absorb comments and attitudes of parents and other adults around them, and those experiences affect their own perceptions of life. Observe how family adult members interact with one another, with friends or family, and even comments made off-handedly. Often, this simple awareness exercise is a wake-up call in seeing why their kids seem negative or disenchanted themselves. Awareness is step one; the next step is to actively make changes to create a more positive household.

• Observe your child's interactions with others. Parents with kids who are unhappy a lot may find their child lacks confidence and doesn't have many true friends. Parents can assist with this by serving as a mentor or coach on building friends and offering gentle comments about why a classmate may not have liked what she said or why kids don't want to his friend. Child care providers often have a close-up look at the social dynamics and can offer some observations and general advice. It's never to early to offer personality coaching to a child (keeping it age appropriate, of course) coupled with unconditional love by adults. Once a kid feels loved and comfortable, a stronger self-confidence can emerge.
• Make sure your child is getting enough play. In today's over-scheduled, hectic society, kids often get shuffled from child care to one enrichment activity to another, and don't have much time for spontaneous play. Well-meaning parents may be so intent on providing their child with a variety of life experiences and exposure to activities that they overlook needs for creative play. A good way to foster happiness is to let kids pretend, dress-up, explore the outdoors, and other simple pleasures. Parents should examine whether their efforts to place kids in a variety of activities meets their work and social needs vs. what a kid truly wants. While the amount of enrichment activities recommended differs and may be based on individual kids, a good rule of thumb is no more than one sports-related and one non-sports related (like art lessons) at one time. Remember what truly counts: quality time spent together as a family!
• Avoid putting pressure on kids. All parents want their kids to shine and excel. Who doesn't want their child to win the tennis tournament, be front and center at the dance recital, and to be picked for the gifted and talented program? Truth is, we as parents tend to put too much pressure on our kids to be super stars when what they're truly most comfortable with is being a member of the supporting cast. Kids are quick to sense a parent's perception of success and if they feel they can't meet up to those expectations of ones they love, but turn it to not even bothering to try or being unhappy and insecure.
• Find ways for kids to succeed at something. As a balancing act to not putting kids into too many activities or applying too much pressure is the challenge of finding a niche in which your kid excels and loves doing.
• Limit your child's exposure to negative attitudes. As much as possible, surround your child with positive influences with classmates, coaches, leaders, care providers, and basically anyone and everyone who touches the life of your child. Kids pick up on negativity, and having a downer atmosphere can truly affect their outlook on life. And it goes without saying to make sure you're not a downer yourself!
• Offer well-deserved praise. Be sure to praise your child for jobs well done, for a positive attitude, for demonstrating virtuous behavior, and for accomplishing tasks or life skills. Just don't go overboard and begin to praise your child for things that everyone his age should be doing.
• Don't overcomplicate your child's life. There may be some areas that stress your child that are unavoidable, such as a divorce and having to split time between mom and dad, but do make an effort to not overdo other areas in your control. It's okay for kids to be bored and find simple pleasures in activities of their choosing. Who knows? Your own child may learn of an undiscovered talent or passion that will be certain to bring a smile of joy to their face!