Be structured yet flexible.
Oh my, that elusive 'balance' thing again.
Some people love to plan and organize and some people love to be spontaneous.
You need both if you are going to avoid overwhelm.
Learn to bend, not break when something comes out of left field and interrupts your schedule.
Take a deeeep breath, deal with it and then come back to your plan.
Consider it 'recess'! 2.
Get comfortable saying 'No'.
Practice.
Walk around the house saying 'no'.
Over and over.
Look in the mirror and say 'no'.
Look at a picture of someone and say 'no'.
Look at an advertisement that tells you to do or buy something and say 'no'.
Pretty soon you will be able to look at a real person and say 'no'! And remember that 'no' is a complete sentence.
3.
No 'should-ing' on yourself.
Do not, I repeat, do not commit to something because you think you 'should' (remember, you've been practicing 'no').
Only commit to something if you would rather turn cartwheels uphill for 10 miles rather than fail at your word.
4.
Stop thinking.
All those things to do running endlessly around in your head.
What an energy drain! It's like doing the task over and over rather than once.
Take a pad of paper.
Actually two pads...
one for personal and home life and one for work life.
Each task or project has it's own page.
Now, get the thoughts of what, when and how to accomplish this task out of your head and onto the paper.
There, when it comes time to focus on it, just pull out the page and go for it.
5.
We can no longer count on someone's word.
Yes, it has to be said.
I could write a complete article on this subject alone.
Times have changed and the word is no longer a bond.
Keeping this fact in mind, know that you will have to do lots of follow-up, you cannot assume that something will be looked after because someone says it will.
Sometimes you will be surprised and you will find a 'good one'.
When that happens tell them how much you appreciate them! 6.
Avoid bureaucracies.
Ugh! I dread dealing with bureaucracy.
Again, a whole article is burbling up inside of me.
At times we must deal with them, but don't ask for it.
And when you do, remember to make a friend of the person on the other end of the phone or desk.
That 'friend' has a lot more power than they let on and sometimes strings can be pulled for you because you have been pleasant and helpful rather than most people they have to deal with.
Validate the position they are in.
Can you just imagine having their job! 7.
Don't use destructive escapisms such as alcohol, junk food, smoking or excessive TV, etc.
We are creatures of pain avoidance rather than pleasure seeking.
We will use these escapisms because they feel good in the moment, but they backfire with poor health and you still have the original problem.
We think they are pleasurable, when in fact the real pleasure is in solving the problem, not avoiding it.
So hug a pet.
Watch the fish tank for a few minutes when you need a timeout to get grounded.
8.
Get a 'Grateful Rock'.
Choose any rock, one that will fit comfortably in your pocket.
Carry it with you all day and anytime you put your hand in your pocket and feel the rock think of something you are grateful for.
Don't cheat! Do it every time.
Place the rock on your dresser at night and be sure to take it with you the next day, and the next and the next and so on.
You'll either start to avoid putting your hand in your pocket or you will have a great shift in your perspective! 9.
Guard your personal boundaries fiercely.
Hold your ground and don't allow anyone to breach those boundaries.
Don't know what your boundaries are? Wondering if you even have any? Have them but let people break them down constantly? Then I suggest a few coaching sessions to stand you straight, learn the "look 'em in the eye and mean it" face and with tact and kindness, hold your ground.
Feel free to use this article provided you accompany it with the entire attached message in the resource box below(c) Lynn Moore 2006