Divorce is never easy when you're a dad, as nine times out of ten the kids always end up living with their mums.
You as a dad need to make sure your kids are aware you are divorcing their mum and not them.
They need to know you are only a telephone call away if they need you.
I have been divorced twice myself and the hardest part of the divorces was me leaving my boys.
The thought of me no longer being there to protect them screwed me up inside, but I had to make sure they were aware how much their dad loved them and how I would always be there for them no matter what.
Even now I make sure I call my youngest who is now fourteen every day to see how his day has been and to make sure he knows he is being thought of by his dad.
At the end of each call I always make sure I tell him I love him.
My eldest son is keeping me poor (one the reasons why I started my online marketing business) is now at uni, even though he turns twenty this year I still tell him I love him every time I call or see him.
They are my sons, their mums may have new partners in their lives, but I still what to remain the leading male influence in the lives and I will be there for them whenever they need me.
I spend more quality time with them now than I ever have.
Yes it is tough at first but you need to make the effort...
believe me I have been there.
My boys mean the world to me and nothing would stand in my way to spoil their happiness.
Just make the effort and don't give up on your kids...
HERE ARE 10 POINTS WHICH MAY HELP THE PROCESS A WHOLE LOT EASIER...
1.
Firstly you need to make sure your kids understand they are not to blame for the divorce.
It's not uncommon for them to assume unless they are reassured.
As their parents to need to make them understand what is happening is not their fault.
2.
The kids do not need to know the details why you are getting divorced.
There is nothing to be gained by dragging them into the details of the breakdown in the relationship.
3.
As parents we need to understand that every child has the right to love and respect both parents during and after the divorce, because as parents we will be in our children's lives forever.
4.
One thing we need to do as parents is still have the ability to work together to insure the children have some consistency in their lives.
The last thing they need is two fighting parents every time you meet up.
5.
Remember kids need both parents; do not assume that you are a better parent.
There are areas of the children's growing up which you will be suited to and just importantly there will be areas were your ex will be best prepared for.
It takes two parents to bring up good kids! 6.
If there is any change let them know what is happening as much as possible - keep them involved.
Keep assuring them that you and your ex still loves them.
Regardless what else changes the love for them will not.
7.
One thing you will need to learn & it is very important.
That you and you ex maintain a civil relationship.
You will have to share information, decisions etc.
in your children's lives for the years to come.
Believe me it will be much easier if you both find a way to a civil parental relationship.
8.
I know this is easier for me to say but if you cannot let go of your anger or resentment towards your ex, do not let the kids see it.
Do not talk in a negative manner when they are in hearing distance.
Just because you are not talking to them does not mean they are not listening to you..
9.
Just remember how resilient kids can be, they are very adaptable.
If you as a parent handle the situation with a little care and understanding, your kids will adapt to the new situation a lot faster than you.
10.
Never stick your kids in the middle.
Never force them to choose between you and your ex.
Try not to ask them too many questions or ask them to spy on them.
Neither of you divorced the kids; they are a product of you both.
Both of you need to be an active influence in their lives, you need to continue to be positive for the rest of their lives.
DIVORCE ENDS A MARRIAGE NOT PARENTHOOD!