I overheard a girl saying, "He's such a slob.
I will train him.
Just you see, in no time I'll have him picking up his mess.
" Sadly, you cannot change anyone else.
That girl can only suggest that she prefers a tidy house.
She could offer an incentive or make threats and maybe she will get what she wants but if he doesn't choose to change, she can't make him.
If he can't change or won't change, she can do nothing to make him change.
Nagging and threatening will make life unpleasant for both of them but it will not change the boy, unless he chooses to change himself.
You can persuade people to change themselves and sometimes it works.
Don't imagine you are stuck with all forms of unpleasant behaviour.
An incentive system will often convince others to change themselves.
If an incentive doesn't work, threats, nagging or leaving are behaviours often resorted to, making everyone miserable.
The point is that you cannot change others.
They have to change themselves.
If they are incapable or unwilling, there is nothing you can do to change them.
You can only change yourself.
Maybe you can compromise, where you both agree to change a little.
Maybe you can change your attitude to whatever bothers you about another person.
For example ,if you are a little too tidy and your partner is a little too messy you could perhaps agree to a personal space each where you can express your individuality and a communal area which is to be kept neat, but not obsessively so.
If you insist on trying to change others you will find you will exhaust yourself and their patience.
Why not choose to live and let live before you find yourself living alone.
Relationships are about give and take, after all.