Dealing with bullies is one of the most stressful things a parent can deal with. Nothing gets as stressful as watching our young, delicate children scared to go somewhere because a bully is treating them mean or worse than this, beating our children up. We are only able to consider the chances of that happening and consider possible outcomes and strategies for each event.

But the question is- what happens when our kid is the bully? This is a possibility we probably have not prepared you for. If you are the parent of a bully, here are a few suggestions on how to act and to deal with your bullying child.

Speak with your kid. Sit alone with your child and seek to find out what the child thinks and why he acts the way he does once you have verified that your child is indeed the bully. The motives behind his action might even surprise you. It is important to understand the child's motives before taking steps in guiding him.

Be ready to go the extra mile. Your child may need to see a professional counselor if his behavior does not improve after you've spoken with him many times. Trained personnel should be able to assess and recommend needs for your child.

Include others in the plans. Get together with the parents of the other child (or children) who are the victims of bullying along with your child's teacher. What you learn could be surprising. As you delve further into the truth behind your child's bullying tactics, you may be surprised to learn that they may be other children involved as well. Breaking up a bullying ring and creating a more positive environment for the children of the school could be a part of the process in these discussions. The truth may not turn out to be what you want to hear, so it may be helpful to prepare yourself mentally in advance.

You need to broaden your kid's horizons. Help him to understand the bad experiences of being bullied. Try to share immediately relevant experiences with him, especially if you were bullied in the past yourself or if you know of someone in the family with a similar story. It might be beneficial for him and inspire him to change his ways, if he witnesses the consequences of his actions on other people.

Be a great example. Kids will often copy what they see. Are there any environmental factors that could be contributing to the child's behavior? If you know what it is, try to make changes around the situation. In order for the environment to improve significantly, you or your family may need to be counseled for a period of time.

Set limits. Be consistent in reminding your child that there are consequences to his behavior. You will want to set boundaries for the child's behavior, working together with the teacher, guidance counselor and even the parents of the target of the bullying. The child needs to know that the people in his life are noticing him and will link bad behavior with consequences for that behavior. If established boundaries and guidelines are not respected, it is appropriate and recommended that the known consequences be put into action. The emphasis is on consequences that does not involve physical retribution and is suited to the age of the individual. Restricting privileges and removing favorite activities may also be involved.

No matter what happens, love your child through it. Spend time with him to get to know him and to understand how he thinks and feels. As your relationship develops, he will be more likely to discuss his problems instead of acting like a bully. Be encouraged and know that there is help as you cry out "Help, my child is the bully".